CRAIG BROWN offers a compendium of comforting headlines

And now for the good news . . . Following a particularly grim week, here’s a compendium of some of the world’s most comforting headlines: By Craig Brown for the Daily Mail

Published: 01:47 GMT, 13 January 2015 | Updated: 08:24 GMT, 13 January 2015

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Downton Abbey's famously grim butler, Mr Bates

Supermodel Smiles On CatwalkJack Russell Dog Welcomes StrangerChild At Funfair ‘Delighted’ By GoldfishKatie Price Breasts ‘Roughly Same Size As Last Week’ Say ExpertsTeenager Looks Up From Phone, Greets ParentPolitical Pundits Agree To Stop Discussing Hung Parliament For Next Three MonthsDiner Finishes His Curly KalePensioner Looks Great In Party HatCelebrity Fails To Compare Life To Roller-coasterPet Hamster Repays Child’s Affection‘Cheer Up, It May Never Happen’ — Downton’s Mr Bates Enjoys Belly-laughStyle Journalist Fails To Employ The Word ‘Iconic’Sally Bercow Goes Out On Town, Retains DignityEntire Windfarm Operates According To PlanMiley Cyrus Feels A Bit Chilly, Opts For Extra Layer Foreign Vessel Makes It Safely Into PortDog Wearing Vegetable On Head Refuses To Go On YouTubeUkip Candidate Confesses To Unembarrassing PastComedian ‘Was Never Bullied’ In School PlaygroundYougov Poll Suggests 83 Per Cent Of People Don’t Tell Pollsters What They Really ThinkCelebrity Spotted On Celebrity Big BrotherDawkins Claims To Have ‘No Firm Opinion’ On Topical EventRussell Brand Enjoys Quiet Day InEric Pickles Nibbles RyvitaGwyneth Paltrow Wolfs Down Chip Butty‘No Comment’ Says Katie HopkinsCelebrity Fails To Cry On Major TV InterviewPanda Up All Night Partying, Flirting, Going WildScientists Discover Intelligent Life On TwitterSupermarket ‘Bag For Life’ Still Usable After Three OutingsBillionaire Oligarch Drives Sensible Family Car, Takes Bends With Due Care And AttentionLord Lucan Tipped For ‘I’m A Celebrity . . . Get Me Out Of Here!’Listener Phones In To Radio 3 Show With Interesting ReminiscenceFox News Expert Successfully Locates Europe On Map Top Gear Team ‘Lost In Jungle’Branson Suffers Crisis Of Confidence, Stops GrinningTrump Lets Hair Down‘Previously On Homeland . . .’ Recap Successfully Followed By First-time ViewerPublishers Admit New Novel By Veteran Author Not Long-awaited Miliband Holds Audience Spellbound ‘Mustn’t Grumble’: Radio 4’s You And Yours In Surprise Tweet Actors Fail To Sigh In Radio 4 DramaYouTube Viewers Reject Puppy Video As ‘Overly Sentimental’Biopic Sticks To Facts‘My Nan’s Not Poorly’ Confesses X-factor ContestantTwin-engine Helicopter Reaches Destination SafelyTraffic Brought To Standstill For Announcement Of Booker WinnerMagazine Forgets To Place Cara On CoverTop Meerkat Refuses To Renew Tv Ad ContractLady Antonia Fraser: The Millwall YearsStarkey Fails To OffendAudiences Left ‘Bewildered’ As West End Puts On New Play With No Hits From The SixtiesGovernment Sets Up Inquiry Into Government InquiriesAudiences In Despair As TV History Documentary Fails To Feature Hitler, Henry VIII Or Pyramids.Railway Conductor Issues Apology For Issuing Too Many ApologiesBono: ‘Pull Its Wings Off’Naipaul Salutes Orange Prize WinnerMorrissey Experiences Giggling FitCleese Delights AudienceBlair Flies Standard, Makes Do With Big MacYentob Forgets Autograph BookEdwina Currie Insists ‘Only If It’s In The Best Possible Taste’Nancy Dell’Olio Has Quiet Night InHealth Food Shop Staff Look HealthyNo Serial Killer In Latest Hollywood Blockbuster window._taboola = window._taboola || []; _taboola.push({mode: 'autosized-generated-text-under-1r-' + 'row', container: 'taboola-below-main-column', placement: 'wide'}); _taboola.push({flush:true}); var rcShoutCache = '{}'; window._taboola = window._taboola || []; _taboola.push({flush:true}); DM.later('bundle', function(){ if (window.ArticlePage) { new ArticlePage(); } });

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