98 years old and STILL punctilliously punctuated

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Sometimes referred to as The Caxton of the Comma, Manutius is widely celebrated as the creator of the first printed semi-colon as well as the designer of both Italic script and the modern comma.

The Apostropher Royal, Sir D’Anville O’M’Darlin’, has issued the following brief tribute: “The debt owed by the grammatical world to Aldus Manutius can hardly be overestimated.

The semi-colon, which he introduced, was the punctuational equivalent of the missing link: it filled the void between comma and colon; it enabled lists to be set out with a clarity that had previously been impossible; it opened countless new opportunities for creative writers.

“In the 500 years since his death no new, all-purpose punctuation mark has been discovered, which confirms his status as the man who gave us a Grand Unified Theory of Punctuation. He was the Newton, the Einstein and the Stephen Hawking of punctuation rolled into one.

We shall not see his punctuational like again.” To accompany Sir D’Anville’s tribute, the Department for Apostrophic Affairs has issued the information sheet 500 Glorious Years of Semi-Colons to mark this important date.

Here are some of its highlights:

1494: Aldus Manutius printed his first semi-colon;

1637: Ben Jonson, in his English Grammar, wrote “A Semicolon is a distinction of an imperfect Sentence,” thus becoming not only the first to use the word ‘semi-colon’ in English, but the first to give it true distinction.

1664: The third Apostropher Royal, Nathaniel Grope, was burnt at the stake for ‘falsifying the king’s commas’ after having been found guilty of splitting semi-colons in two and selling them as full stops and commas.

The future of Manutius’s semi-colon was finally secured

1778-93: The nation suffered a period of semi-colonic austerity as the Great Apostrophe Blight took hold. During this period, people were allowed to split semi-colons and use their comma halves as apostrophes.

1794-2008: The reckless and widespread use of semi-colons to make the so-called ‘Grope apostrophes’ led to an ever-growing decline in the nation’s semi-colon reserves.

2008: The UN placed the semi-colon on their list of Highly Endangered Punctuation Marks and declared this year to be International Year of the Semi-Colon.

2009: Sir D’Anville O’M’Darlin’ introduced a nationwide campaign of Semi-Colonic Irrigation.

2010: Thanks to the huge success of Sir D’Anville’s campaign, followed by the release of billions of quantitatively eased semi-colons, the semi-colon was removed from the UN list of Highly Endangered Punctuation Marks.

2014: Scientists at the Small Colon Collider at Cerne Abbas confirmed the existence of Dark Punctuation by successfully splitting a colon into two semi-colons. The future of Manutius’s semi-colon was finally secured. 

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